BESTSELLERS & BEST FRIENDS
My book publishing blog, with murder mysteries woven through it.
If this is your first visit, be sure to start with “1. Let’s do it!”
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This just happened (per The New York Times):
Holy shit! A damn good senator is suddenly dead. As is the guy who actually wrote the hot dog cookbook I pretended to write. Now what?
Because no reporter knew Heinz better, Freeman’s reporting was all over today’s newspapers. It’s weird how college buddies keep showing up on the front pages at my local newsstand.
One of my first thoughts is, “What about a biography of Heinz? Freeman’s the perfect author. He could write 300 pages just from what’s in his head, without a bit of research or notebook flipping. We’d be first to market, it could be a bestseller. Or maybe we pair Freeman with Heinz’s widow? The two could write it together. Or maybe that co-authored version could even be a second book. A two-book deal. Smart!
See that? How messed up I am to have this book publisher instinct kick in, shoving aside the humanity that ought to kick in. A father, son, husband, brother is dead. As are his two staffers. My god, their poor families. And here I am thinking within seconds about a book or two, playing around with titles and cover designs in my head.
Yet what about The Hotdog Cookbook? Should I reveal the truth about who really wrote it? I’d sound nuts. We have no written agreement, just an over-the-phone handshake. A great senator is dead and there I’d be in the media talking about who’s the actual author of the stupid and totally-not-needed Hot Dog Cookbook.
I’d look like a wacko! It’s better just to keep my mouth shut.
But what about the royalties it was going to make for charity when Heinz finally decided to reveal the truth?
I got paid $10,000 for the book. I’ll somehow pull $10,000 out of my checkbook over the next three years and donate it to a charity. Freeman will know which charities Heinz favored.
TEN wieners, EIGHT buns. Argh!
More importantly, with Heinz dead, there’s little chance of the bun and wiener companies getting together to put the same number of buns and wieners in their packaging. Damn it!
It was a shitty and shocking day.
Tomorrow: The agent joke (let’s try again, I desperately need a laugh)